“Well, it isn’t as though the ghost would try to bite you,” he said. He seemed to quickly change his mind. “Strike that, they might.”
He put a finger to his chin and looked up at the sky. “I could come with you… Since I am the expert.”
He looked back down at Amelia. “As soon as I see the baby.” He nodded curtly.
It seemed like there were only two things on his mind. Ectoplasm and seeing Phoenix’s baby. He thought of babies like puppies or kittens. Cute and small and making strange noises and sweet as cherry pie.
Amy couldn’t help but roll her eyes at the antics of the nutty professor. “Yeah, you’re the expert,” she said, putting her hands on her hips. “I don’t even know how to attract a ghost, you know? Do you just stand around in the halls and hope they’ll come say ‘boo’ and then you stab ‘em with a needle? … You know, come to think of it, how do you stab a ghost with a needle? Aren’t they transparent? Y’know, like walking through walls… Right?” She knew she probably had a lot of misconceptions about ghosts, but the movies and television shows had to be kind of right at least.
“Ah yeah, the baby, of course,” she laughed. Wilson seemed so excited, like he was getting a basket of kittens as a Christmas present. “Well, maybe we can go over sometime soon and see Phoenix. She’s probably getting lots of visitors though, everyone wanting to see little baby Misha.” Her face kind of fell, she couldn’t help but feel sorry for the child. He’d spend all his time in the inn and the grounds outside, but he’d never get to know about the world. “Anyway… Professor, I wanted to talk to you about a problem I have - it’s that I’m really, really running out of things. I mean, I didn’t exactly pack enough for almost a year when I came here and I feel so bad every time I borrow from the others. I’m sure they’ve hardly got anything too! So, how have you made it here? Do you have a secret stash of goodies somewhere?” She giggled a little bit.
“I’m sure you’re great at attracting ghosts,” Wilson said.
He brushed his sleeves nonchalantly. He didn’t want to attract attention to his own double entendre.
“Lots of ghosts are transparent, I discovered. However, it’s become evident to me that they can solidify themselves. Quite interesting, that. Sometimes they don’t even realize they’re dead.”
The professor decided he would be patient about the baby. He didn’t want to overwhelm Phoenix. New mothers needed their privacy and some rest from visitors. The baby probably needed rest too. Everyone cooing and cuddling would be exhausting.
Since Wilson believed that admitting to Amy that he was a ghost would scare her away, he quickly thought of a lie. “I have a large supply of canned beans,” he said, “and they’re delicious. Canned fruit too. Canned bread. Canned vegetables, even, but I don’t much like those.”
The last thing he wanted to do was scare Amy off. He was so fond of her. But the truth was that she would probably take off if she discovered he was a ghost. They might never speak again. Wilson thought he might sob for days on end if that happened.
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